Tribute to David Letterman

I was planning to write something deep and thoughtful today, because it's been a while since I last posted BUT I've been struck with what I have deemed an African Flu yesterday, and am having trouble thinking clearly. So instead of that profound entry, we're going with a list. (I know, lists are outrageously popular in the JF blogosphere right now)

Top 10 Things That Have Made Me Laugh in the Past Two Weeks

1. The seemingly endless capacity of a minibus. They're designed for 12 passengers, but it's not uncommon to be rolling with upwards of 20 or 21, plus a few massive sacks of raw fish, and some maize for good measure. It's wild when you have 20 in your minibus, but the driver still pulls over to pick up the four women and their babies that are waiting on the side of the road.

2. The use of sugar and salt in Malawian food. The two main food groups. For dinner, salt is served with a little bit of eggs, not the other way around. In the morning, it's standard issue to throw 4 heaping teaspoons of sugar into a tiny little cup of the weakest tea you'll ever drink.

3. The interchangeability of "l" and "r" in the Chichewa language. What's amazing is that these are essentially the same letter here in Malawi. People definitely can't hear or pronounce the difference, but often they can't even see the difference on paper! It was serious business for the first few weeks I was here with all of the political tension during erection week.

4. The fact that locals actually enjoy drinking Chibuku. It's a thick milkshake-like maize and sorghum beer that comes in big soggy cartons. You let it sit out until the cartons have expanded enough to be deemed fully fermented and ready to go! A heavy sludge awaits each drinker at the bottom of the cartons.

5. The name of the village I'm living in right now. "Momakolokoto" Literally, it refers to the crusty burnt bits of nsima that must be scraped off of the bottom of a burnt pot and thrown away after someone has overcooked the nsima. Very noble.

6. The vast gap between mine and and my Malawian peers' endurance levels. My host brothers amd I usually go for runs in the morning before work (before the sun rises, if they have their way) Lately, they have just been kicking my a** in these epic 15km journeys - I'm sure they could crank out another 15 if there wasn't a white man trailing them.

7. The unusual source of music on some nights for dinner entertainment. There is no electricity in my village, so once in a while someone will use their cell phone to call that number that gives you endless options for new ringtones that you can buy for a dollar each or something. He'll set the phone down and we'll listen to all of those options throughout the course of a night, routinely "pressing 1 to hear the next option." I should be clear, there's no intent of buying anything here.

8. The results of the Malaria test I recently went for. I thought I had malaria during the JF retreat, so went to get tested a local clinic when I returned to Lilongwe. The man handed me a negative test result paper and said "But this doesn't mean you don't have Malaria." I said "Maybe I'll still buy some drugs for Malaria just in case." He said "That's probably a good idea."

9. The modular math course (provided by CIDA) that I have been helping the local secondary school math teacher work through. He's taking this course for his own benefit from a college in a bigger city. All I can say is that I'm ashamed that CIDA provided the material for this course. The text is riddled with blatant mistakes, and the curriculum is all over the place.One question will be on improper integrals, the next on matrix transformations, then the next on nuclear growth rates. What?

10. The number of symptoms that can be packed into one flu. It wasn't funny last night, but I think that in retrospect, it'll be worth a chuckle. It's a full-on cold and a full-on stomach flu, all at the same time! Amazing!

...Because this entry has no real theme, I thought I'd post a few completely unrelated pictures for you to look at:

 
For the first few nights that I stayed in Momakolokoto, this was a pretty average croud. They would just stand there... and stare.

 
Some returning to their village, after grinding some maize at the mill in town.

 
My host brother, Aubrey, and I went out into the fields for a little sunset photo shoot one evening.

 
At the JF Retreat in Senga Bay, we all went for a "booze cruise" one night on a rented boat with plenty of Carlsberg to go around. We anchored near this little island for a long jump-off-the-roof-of-the-boat-and-do-random-things-in-the-air session. Good times.

 
Beautiful sunset across Senga Bay, as seen from our boat.

 
Lots of monkeys in the Salima District... I could sit and watch monkeys do their thing for days. 

OK, a more thoughtful entry is coming soon! Until then...

Take er easy,

Ian